i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
