I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize