You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Randomize
