Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize