we're blogging at a bar
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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