Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I think I died a long time ago.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
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I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
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By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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