hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
