no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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