Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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