Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
