she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
