It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
