How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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