Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
