Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
