he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
