You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He shit in the fireplace
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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