i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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