Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
