I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So here I am, sexting at work.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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