so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
