I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
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She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
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Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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