He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
