why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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