just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Can I color on your dick again?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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