Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize