Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
