You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I think I am morally bankrupt
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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