What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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