There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
