Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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