You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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