I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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