Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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