I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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