I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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