tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
