Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
