so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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