I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
And the cops told us we were all naked.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
