How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I AM VODKA MAN
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
