smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
