Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
