When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I wish there were birth control emojis
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
