Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
