end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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