Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You can't just leave with hair like that
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
