ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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