I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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