You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just google imaged poop.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
