What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
