Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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