How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
