This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
