I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
