South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
