The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
