He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
