P.S. I can't hear my feet
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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