i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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