If i come over, it means nothing
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
