4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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